Music and blah blah:)

So while it take years to gain knowledge and sanity, a moment is more than enough to wipe off all that wisdom. There's only one truth that there's no truth, which in itself is an oxymoron. Our minds are too weak to construe the depths existing within us. While I sleep, I am awake. While I'm awake, I am somewhere else. I walk miles, while standing at the same place and sometimes even after walking for like hours, I am exactly there where I started. Not an inch moved. In this moment, I am moving with the stars, into the infinite space, into oblivion .

Sometimes I get moved by something so much that it becomes tough to locate myself. I HATE this kind of “getting drifted away” feeling, makes me feel so helpless, but some things have such a strong intensity, that I cannot stay unmoved. Kurt Cobain. I cannot write about him. I just want to mention his name, for the kind of truthfulness and the passion he had but didn’t know.

I'm not sure where it all leads to but I haven't been so clear in my thoughts before. I haven't felt such ferocious need before. We must make our dreams our need, our need our reason, and our reason our life. No life can be more fulfilling. I cannot ever connect to certain people. Not because they are bad, they are just fine in their way, it's because the way I feel about something is so different than they do. It's not better or worse, its different. I don't feel 'thrilled' in what makes them feel thrilled. And what thrills me may not impact them at all. All this just makes me more me. Randomness of life. 

Sometimes everything looks so distant, that you can’t even connect to yourself. There is so much swirling inside my head and I’m feeling so distracted, detached from almost everything. I’m not sure if this is good, bad or neither. I’ve believed, always believed that how I feel about something is unaffected by mundanity of things. It’s unscathed, springing out of what I am. Probably it’s time to rethink, redesign, realign.

I need to read diverse and travel more.

There is so much silence around me, in this moment. one of the most soothing voices I'm listening to. I so much wish to get dissolved in this music. Such moments are so rare. and so intense. I wish I could just close eyes and drift to some other world, where these things around me.. like the cup, the book, the telephone don't exist. suddenly reminds me of the moment on golden gate bridge, where I was so so thrilled looking at the voracious waves, that for a moment, i felt like jumping into them in order to feel the enormous amount of pressure and force they carry. i told prashant about the same, he must have felt me mad :) only thing is i always want a way back to where I'm. but i want to be there once. i love the "thrill" part of it all so much, touching the point where your body "just" gives up, and returning, and then trying again, moving a little ahead than the previous point and testing how much more your body, your mind, your soul can take that ...